[This is the Thanksgiving blog I forgot to post]
Waking up at quarter to three, eating a lonely bowl of pancit, finding a twenty dollar bill placed strategically on the table under a keychain for me to see. Now I sit, contemplating what my course of action for the rest of the day shall be. Perhaps I'll spend it reading or doing homework. Cleaning, I'm sure.
For the first time in my entire life, there will be no Thanksgiving Dinner at my home. There will be no turkey. There will be no pie. There will be no house full of loud people, laughing and wondering where all the time went in between now and Easter, which is generally the last we saw of each other. And strangely enough, I'm not even upset. Call it strange or selfish or what have you but I'm enjoying the alone time being spent in my huge empty house.
The reason being that I don't really need to see my blood relations this Thanksgiving night. Because the people who are the most important to me, who I care the most about being on Thanksgiving...I spent with last night. My second family. And I can't help but be thankful for everyone who did, especially Ren who attended despite the illness.
And the thing is that I can't help but be thankful for everyone who has played an important part of my life.
To my family, who taught me that you might not be able to care for and trust the people you were supposed to.
To Jeremy, who taught me that not everyone you fall in love with is going to be good for you.
To Stephen, who taught me that you really can't trust everyone you meet.
To my big sister, who taught me that if you're not careful that love can blind you.
To my mother, who taught me to be careful of everyone you meet and everything you do.
To dad, who taught me who not to look for in a man. And that somewhere down the road, people will let you down.
To my Godmother, who taught me that it's okay to go a little crazy sometimes.
To my two cousins, who gave me the appreciation of literature and all things knowledgeable and nerdy.
To Soap, who taught me that something good CAN come out of something shitty.
To Lauren, who shows me it's always a good idea to sit and watch for a while before deciding how to act or even if to act.
To Edmar, who cooked for us and was always, in the little ways you could, there for me every time Coyce broke my heart. And if there are two people that I trust the most about dealing with him it'd be you and Yayu.
To Auston, who reminds me that it's okay to be alone sometimes and that you really do have to make the best out of what you have. And that the best things in life are spontaneous.
To Megan, who I am telling you all is my fucking soul mate (but I know we'll never marry). But if there's anyone I know that needs to be cared for and loved, it's her.
To Nathaniel, who puts up with my shit. Period.
To Salvador, who I know will be there when I need him the most. Who will pick me up at a street corner in the pouring rain while I cry my eyes out for no reason.
To Cathy, who reminds me that girls just want to have some fucking fun. So why not?
To Angie, who teaches me that it's not always rainbows and butterflies but gives me a reason to smile for someone else if not for myself.
To Mharjie, who pets me and encourages me to be the crazy ball of energy I am. Who also is showing me the fine lines of good ideas and irrational ones.
To Amber, who tells me it's okay to follow your gut and be impulsive once in a while
To Ryan, who is slowly teaching me to relax and smell the roses.
To my auntie and uncle, who I don't often thank enough but have done nothing but provide me with what they can and spoil me for no reason.
To my twin sister, who reminds me that there will always be a rainbow after every hurricane. Who reminds me that smiling is the best thing that you can create. And that anyone can really get wherever they want to be if they push themselves enough; that anything is possible.
To the boy. Because he teaches me that people at some point in your life will let you down and disappoint you. That you will get lonely and that someone is going to break your heart and that love can blind you. That you have to be careful about everything you do. That not everything is rainbows and butterflies. But he teaches me that something good can always come out of something shitty, that there is always a rainbow after every hurricane. That it's okay to follow your gut and be impulsive. That the best things really do come from spontaneity. That it's all right to go a little crazy sometimes. That sometimes you gotta just relax and smell the roses.
He's someone who I know who needs to be loved and cared for. He puts up with my shit [and vice versa]. He would pick me up at a corner in the pouring rain while I cry my eyes out for no reason as well as sit and listen to me babble while I sit during a power outage. He has instilled in me one thing that no one has ever done before: patience. Be it for him, for my family or for any of my friends he has turned me into someone I would never be able to stand a year ago — someone who will sit and wait and just be there for you while you go crazy. And I swear to you...he's [like] my fucking soulmate.
To the big guy upstairs who was gracious enough to give me this life and let me live it every day. Who I owe for the blood running through my veins and the air filling my lungs. For every morning that I'm able to open my eyes. For every word I've been able to speak. For every one I've been able to meet. For the boy.
Everyone who walks in and out of your life comes in and teaches you a lesson. The problem is to remember that though they may not stick around for long, they were there for a reason.
And so, I know that I didn't need the turkey to have a Happy Thanksgiving. I just needed my friends, my boy, a few bags of McDonalds, cookies, brownies, hot tea, and a Magic Mic.
-- ZelleZ
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