June 1, 2014
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I’m ready to give up.
Everything. It’s time for my mind secrets to come out before they manifest themselves into my reality. Isn’t it?
“No, this isn’t you. You never give up. You’re a fighter. You always fight. You never give up the fight.”
I’m tired of fighting. I quit. I want to quit. Everything.
Pull myself out of everything. Finish school and move where I can stay away from the monsters that caused this. Where they’ll stop speaking to me so much. Forget everything I once knew, everything I’ve let myself become. And run as fast as I can away from here. From a place and from people who will never need me as much as I need them now.
I’m ready to surrender and become another statistic in the world I’m slowly becoming part of. I’m not meant to set out to do what I wanted. I’m ready to get swept away from what I’m tired of trying to control. I’m tired of the repetition. I’m tired of vying for the control of my life, for vying for the love of people who I take in as family, I’m tired of fighting myself.
I’m not a fighter.
I am my mother.
Z.
