It would never matter the fact that people actually make their living from it. What matters is that it isn't practical. It isn't nursing, it isn't teaching and it sure as hell isn't computer programming. You tell someone that you want to own a business out of nowhere and they will give all the support in the world. Tell someone that you want to make films or make music and they will tell you that you won't go fucking anywhere with that. Tell someone you want to change the world with your degree from medical school and they will give you a round of applause but you tell that same person you want to change the world with your bachelor's in Fine Arts he will scoff.

We are artists. We look at the world and we try to open your eyes by mirroring it in the most creative ways possible. We don't want to make money; if we did, we wouldn't exist. Hell, we hate money. If we could figure out a way to do what we love without going bankrupt and with no strings, we'd do it every damn day. We aren't here to make you happy; we're here to make you think long and hard about the shit that you're doing. We're here to empathize and give you every reason to believe that you can make all the difference. We're the good guys, we promise.

Okay so evidently on the list of things I have to do is to figure Xanga 2.0 out. And find the time to do so.

Today I may have officially reached my breaking point as seen by this beautiful video my dear partner in crime decided to post on instagram, which involves me crying and slipping under a table.

"I just don't want you going cray cray"
"I know you have stuff to catch up on. Go ahead."
"The only thing you need to worry about is relaxing."
"I'm just concerned, okay?"

My social life though, is lagging very much behind. I'm not saying that I'm a thousand times busier than all of you. But it just feels like it. When you're never off the clock for 2 jobs, have  a thousand projects to work on and are taking 19 credits at school then yeah I have basically no time. I barely have time for Tea every Wednesday. I didn't even get to put work away like I had wanted to. And the thing I have to struggle with is the fact that if they can't keep up or even try to understand that I'm bailing out because I have so much work to do, then I have  to leave them behind. I have no choice.

I need to get ahead of my schoolwork if I want to be able to clear my schedule for the film festival, which is the priority. I also have to train my coworker at the other job at the university. Having started a new project with someone with no experience is rather difficult. And I HAVE to abandon all things during the festival. I cannot work for it. I have to do work for the festival. Period. That never ends. I'm constantly doing something for the festival and it's hard to keep up with everything, okay? I didn't get to prepare for school like I was supposed to because we didn't get the two week break we were supposed to. So I had to jump right into it and I'm pretty much already falling behind.

And I have to have everything organized until this week.

So yeah, sorry social life that isn't within my immediate presence. I have to say goodbye to you. At least for now. If not for ever. I need you to understand that I don't hang out with you not because I don't want to and find my coworkers oh so fascinating. But because my coworkers are within my immediate grasp. My coworkers work with me and KNOW how busy I am because they SEE my work load. Because they know that they COME TO ME. I don't have time to plan tea time like I used to. I don't have time for anything like I used to and I need you all to understand that.

I've got a couple of things to work out personally before I put it all on hold. I need something to clear my head. Guess that's why I run. And why I'm going to start a running blog.

For the next few weeks, I'm going to consider revealing my identity and making it known all around that I have a blog.

That is, if everyone can keep up.

"Ain't nobody got time for that"

Z.