March 24, 2013

  • Inaccessible.

    It's horrible for me. To feel like I can't help someone. To feel like I am unavailable. I hate that. I hate it when I cannot be there for a person. So of course, I'll tear myself up in being unable to get diapers for her or keep him from dying in a parking lot or help her overcoming heartache or getting her to believe in herself the way I do or hold his hand and help him face the pain that he fears. I can't stand being so far away from people. I can't help it. Whether or not they blame me, I always feel responsible when a person I know falls. Especially a person I love. 

    Let it slide,
    Let your troubles fall behind you
    Let it shine
    Until you feel it all around you

    I want to be your rock. I want to be your shelter. I want to be the human that you can and will always turn to. I want to be there. I want to hold you up and remind you that you are an amazing and beautiful creature. I want to prove to you that you deserve all the blessings there are and that the challenges are merely ways that you can prove your strength. I want to show you that you are completely capable of overcoming everything that this world will throw at you. 

    It's just hard knowing when the situation is inaccesible for me. Due to business, a lack of car, a lack of faith, or thousands of miles between us. I hate that. I hate feeling like I am unable to help a brotha' out. But I will never stop trying. As long as I feel like you need me, I will never put my foot down. I will never doubt you or me, even as you might doubt us. I will never allow you to fall completely. I will always be here. 

    And I don't mind
    If it's me you need to turn to
    We'll get by,
    It's the heart that really matters in the end

    Lend me your ears, lend me your hearts and allow me to be there for you. 

    My ultimate wish. "To have everyone I know and love to be truly happy." Without vices. No contentment. No satisfaction. Just amazed at the life they lead, the cards they are dealt and the fact that they can still breathe. At all the little wonders that surround them and the realization that they, themselves, are little wonders as well. 

    Our lives are made
    In these small hours
    These little wonders
    These twists & turns of fate

    Be accessible.

    -- ZelleZ